Let’s face it making mom friends can be a challenge. Making friends in your 30’s and beyond is so different than making friends in your 20’s. Throw a couple kids into the mix it can feel like an olympic sport trying to schedule a lunch with someone that doesn’t want to make you poke your eyes out.
Nap schedules, feeding times, family pressures can make meeting new people seem almost impossible. Wow, can things get complicated. I remember the early days when my first was a baby. I was so starved for adult interaction, I would befriend anything that would talk back to me. I would try to go to mom groups and occasionally I would meet someone I clicked with.
Let’s face it mamas, just because you both have kids, does not mean that you share other values that adds up to a great friendship. At the heart of it, we are all looking for a friendship where we felt seen and heard, for who we are, not the kids we’ve had. So, I’ve rounded up some simple ways that you can also make lasting friendships with mom’s that you genuinely connect with.
1. Be yourself ( from the beginning )
One of my best girlfriends and I joked that on our first playdate we were like perfect mother robots of ourselves. We sat across from each other as our sons played blocks and pretended that everything was fine, mother hood was perfect and that our kids were fabulous. Was any of this even remotely true? No! We were too caught in up trying to be normal and impress each other to make a real connection. Thank goodness we were able to drop the facade quick and get down to the real business of being friends. My advice, be real, from the get go. If you despise soccer practice or your little one’s tantrums have you one step away from crazy town, say it! Chances are she has felt, or feels the same way!
2. Volunteer to be the social mom in your child’s school
I don’t normally advocate for an additional workload on top of all your other mom’s duties, but somebody needs to do it and it might as well be you! Volunteering to set up social events puts you in prime time mom friend real estate. Plus, this way you can control the restaurants and timing of the get togethers. This is a perfect way to meet other mom’s and feel out who is your crew and who is not. Plus you’re able to see who utilizes the dreaded, “Reply all.”
3. Try out an App
Why not? Our millennial counterparts are finding successful hookups! Forget booty calls, who is down for a 3pm nap time coffee call!? Apps like Peanut allow you to select certain criteria if and search based upon interests. Being a stay at home mom can be so isolating and with all the demands on your schedule it’s sometimes hard to even leave the house. That’s why I love the idea of trying out technology to meet like-minded mamas in your area.
4. Passionate about something? Host an event !
Most mom’s are dying for connection. When we choose to share something we are passionate about it naturally draws like-minded people towards us. If you’re an expert on breastfeeding, why not host an event at your house and form a support group? Do you love to talk about sleep schedules? Arrange a meet up at a local coffee shop and form a sleeping mastermind. Offering support and helping others is a great way to authentically connect ( and also focus less on the fact that you are lonely) If you’re the one looking for support, there is bound to be a group in your community that is already formed and just waiting for you to be a member. Ain’t no shame in our support game!
5. Phone down, head up!
As much as I love social media, there is a time and a place for it. At the park with your kids where their might be other mom’s to socialize with, not the time! Put your phone down and look around for other mom’s to talk to. Complimenting someone’s kid is a great way to start a conversation. I know it can be awkward to make plans with someone you just met but if you feel a connection take the leap and ask for her cell phone number. Chances are she is wanting the friendship just as much as you are!
My friendships with these mommas get me through each day. Take the step and reach out as you’ll never know who you’ll meet!
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