I recently had the pleasure of sitting down with Jasmin Manke, a European life coach, who helps her clients “discover their purpose and step into their true power”. Jasmin helps individuals to live and create a life they love and is about to launch her online course!  While on a quick visit of Chicago, Jasmin, boldly, (as we laughed about later) sent me a DM via Instagram as she saw the parallels between her work and mine and thought it’d be cool to meet up and chat. Indeed it was! 

I was fascinated by the common themes that run through her work and mine despite the different demographics we work with. It just goes to show that if you can learn some of these concepts we discuss (“NATO” for example) at a young age, they will serve you throughout all phases of life.

I put together a “highlight reel” of our conversation and hope you enjoy her as much as I did!

XX,
Andrea

this content was written by me but originally published on Best Kept Self

This past weekend I had dinner with a friend who was going through a tough time.She felt her relationship was in turmoil because her finances were tight. As a couple they were having hard time navigating the choppy waters.Understandably, she was experiencing some uncomfortable emotions.As she explained her situation in detail  she told me about a wonderful affirmation she had created to help her out with her situation. Yet when she spoke it, I could tell by her body language that there was a part of her that didn’t believe it. I knew she was still locked in judgment of her situation.

How many times have you tried to gloss over something that is really bothering you for a rosier, prettier outlook? I’m certainly guilty of that.I know from personal experience that you can have the loveliest affirmation in the world, but if you have judgment underneath it, you can write it, memorize it, and sing it but it wont make a bit of difference.

So how do you know if you have judgment? If you are stuck assigning a “right” or “wrong” to a situation or find yourself thinking about how things “should” be, you are in judgment.If you find yourself there, don’t worry! We are human, after all.Forgive yourself for buying into the story of what’s happening and let the truth sink in.

The truth is the events in our life and our relationships don’t define us. We can have bad days, bad years, and speak words that we don’t really mean to our spouses and it does’ t make us terrible people. They don’t change who we are at our core. For my friend, and for everyone, the truth is we are all doing the best we can at any given time.

After I coached my friend and she cleared up the judgment that her husband should have made a different decision and that her finances defined her as a person, she was able to  create a statement that was free of any false beliefs. She acknowledged her discomfort and dug in to see what it was really about. She was able to free herself from her story.

This time when she spoke the words of her affirmation she took a breath and relaxed. She finally KNEW it.There is a subtle difference between thinking and knowing and before she was just saying the words without believing it. She was keeping her statement in the realms of her mind.

Think about it, it’s only when you truly know something to be true, that it becomes true!

Affirmations are a wonderful tools to align you with what you are looking to create, but you can’t bypass what’s going on underneath with beautiful words.If you have an affirmation for your business, relationship, or life, my encouragement to you is check in to make sure you truly believe what you are saying. If there are any judgments you are harboring, make sure you clean those up.

By letting go of all the stories you are telling about yourself or situations you can align yourself with the truth and make room for miracles to occur.

 

XO

Andrea


 

 

* this content was written by me but originally published on Best Kept Self 

As a mom and an entrepreneur, when I get busy, time for my creativity is normally the first thing to go. Distractions are abounding in my world. There are the obvious ones like Facebook or Instaface (my less than tech savvy husband’s name for Instagram). Yet we each have in our lives a set of meaningful distractions, things we value on some level but that need to be prioritized occasionally when it comes to expressing our creativity.

Recently, I had arranged for my kids to be picked up from school one day so I could do some creative writing for my business. Yet, as the time came for them to get out of school, I closed up my laptop and began to get ready to go get them. A mix of guilt and a need to accomplish a task crept in…

“I’ll get them today; I should do that” I thought to myself.

I hadn’t finished what I was working on but it wasn’t due right away and I was feeling low on inspiration. I had hit a creative block and instead of taking a break, I gave up and cancelled the arrangements I had made.

There are no shortages of “shoulds” in anyone’s life.

It dawned on me later that day that as soon as I picked them up I was sucked into a whirlwind of distractions. Snacks requests, moderating quarrels, potty duty and so on. All the things that come with the role of parenting and all the things that I had purposely tried to avoid on this particular day so I could nurture myself!

I realized I was neglecting myself to care for others and the payoff for me was I got to avoid pushing myself to reach a higher level of creativity.

You see it’s comfortable for me to pick up my kids every day, I know how to do that very well. I’ve got sitting in that carpool line listening to 90’s rap down. There’s nothing better than seeing them jump into the car and get excited to tell me about their day. On the flip side, there’s nothing worse than having them fight the entire way home. Yet, I’m very clear as I grow my business that sometimes I need help with that, so I can focus on getting things done.

Once I was able to get clear on the story I was telling myself about what I “should” be doing with my free time, I was able to evaluate to see if It was even the truth. You see I had in my mind that outside of having a full time job, being a good parent meant picking your kids up from school.

The truth is, I feel very energized and awake when I work on my business and my creativity. When I look at my life holistically, I know how important my creativity is to all the other roles I have in my life.

When I am not showing up for myself and my creativity and expression, it’s really hard to show up for my family in a way that’s healthy. Sure, people still get fed and their basic needs met always, but when I’m thriving, my family also thrives. Furthermore, when I feel that expansive energy of creative expression I tend to take things less personally with my family and more patient with my kids.

My encouragement to you is instead of trying to separate all of the different roles you might have you in your life, look at them holistically. Consider that nurturing your creativity, whether or not it’s for your business or just for fun, IS a form of self-care. Further, to neglect that creative side is a subtle form of self-sabotage.

Are there areas in your life that you are neglecting out of guilt or attachment to an old story?

Here’s to paying less attention to the distractions (even the meaningful ones) and more attention to what we want to create!

I have been a long time reader of Design Mom. I love her style and I love reading her section, Living with Kids. Is there anything better than getting a peak into someone else home?  Before you call me a Peeping Tom, hear me out!  I love to see how they do things and to get inspired by how they are managing life with little ones. I’ve also always been obsessed with seeing other people’s homes and interiors. I had so much fun taking a billion pictures for this feature and also answering her thought provoking questions.  Check it out here

Hi Everyone! 

Between my Epic two-parter Halloween, the Cub’s winning the WORLD SERIES, and Election mania…I haven’t gotten a lot of sleep. Mix that little sleep with a dramatic election night and what do you get? A hot mess and a major dent in the Halloween candy. I know I’m not alone in this. 

With all the things going on in the world and the uncertainty that a lot of us are feeling, it’s important to remember that there are things we have influence and dominion over. FOCUS on those very things. We don’t always have a choice in what’s happening in the world, but we do have choice over how we react. 

If you’re feeling sad, angry, or even afraid, that’s ok. Give yourself the time and space to express and work through your feelings. You can choose to free form write – a process that is super cathartic and allows unedited thoughts to surface without judgement. You can also have an adult temper tantrum. Find a safe spot in your house and beat the crap out of a pillow. ( Just make sure your cleaning lady isn’t downstairs — awkward. ) 

After you feel like you’ve expressed the emotions, it’s important not to dwell there. Focus on what YOU are creating and being the change that you wish to see.  If you don’t like the leader that has been chosen for you, are there opportunities in your life where you can lead in a different way?

I promise you this is a way more empowering place to be.  Making the other side wrong might feel good in the short-term, but long-term it only leads to more suffering. 

Tonight I’m hosting a group of ladies at my home and we will be making vision boards for our future. I know we can’t all be at my house together, but I hope you join me in owning and stepping into the values and visions that you hold for yourself and the planet. 

P.S. I will be posting a video on how to make a vision board soon! Stay tuned!